Hard on a Mother's Heart
Today has been a very hard day. I truly don't expect the "teen" phenomenon which culture promotes to be an ever-present reality in our home - disconnected, disengaged, disrespectful kids who leave trouble in their wake.
However, if in fact Coplea is going to go through some difficult times in this transition from childhood to young adulthood, it must have started today. Oh, how my mother heart aches.
Yesterday she chose to "buck me" about so many little things in traveling to and spending the day at the Young family reunion in Bearden. At 7:58 a.m., she said, "I thought we were leaving at 8:00." I told her we were shooting for 8:30, and anything she could do to help get us closer to that goal would be a blessing. As Chad and I scurried about getting ourselves ready and loading the car, she sat. She did finally inquire at 8:25, "Should I eat breakfast then?" We had to keep Coplea and Callie separated over mp3 arguments throughout the trip.
Our choice to go to the cemetery as a family (she plopped right down on Uncle Bobby's sofa to show her intentions - in front of the U.S. Open, no less - Golf!) When told again that she would be going, she spent 10 minutes pretending not to know where her shoes were. Disheartening.
This morning, she tested us by showing up at the (Father's Day) breakfast table with shorts and a t-shirt on. We don't expect the girls to be dressed for Easter every Sunday, but this was clearly going to be a no-go. She sulked when asked to change. We watched outdoor baptisms as a family, where Coplea seemed ready to jump at the opportunity to leave, and opted not to speak to even her art teacher when we ran into her unexpectedly. The two of us headed to FSM, where the Memphis team (from last week's missions trip) gave a report. At lunch, when asked to tell what she remembered about the Memphis trip, she said flatly, "I didn't go to Memphis, how would I know?"
After lunch as we hurriedly prepared for Grandy and Papa to pick the girls up for VBS this week, I told Coplea and Callie, "I'm going to miss you both this week." I reached for hugs, and only Callie responded. Coplea stood stoic. Her heart seems so hard.
Shortly afterwards, I said to Callie that "Sometimes I'm not even sure if Coplea loves me." She simply said, "I know how you feel."
And then there was the fiasco of loading Papa's car, which was overcrowded with things from yesterday's reunion. I can't recount it all without tears, but it amounted to little white lies and intentional deceit which ended with Coplea leaving in tears. I hugged her tight and stated clearly, "I love you." Her arms hung at her side, though she did mutter a similar response. Climbing in the car packed with bags, sisters, and cousins, Coplea kept her head on her arm and against the passenger window, refusing to even look at Papa (driving) or toward her dad and I (waving from the driveway). They are likely 1/3 of the way to Center Ridge by now, and my heart is still crushed.
My prayer:
Lord, help me penetrate the thick walls of pride and get to Coplea's heart. Oh God, please soften it from within. I shake my head at a loss to know how to pursue this child you have given us to raise. So draw her with your cords of kindness, Lord.
Thank you for your Father heart on this day when mine is reeling! Father's Day 2010
However, if in fact Coplea is going to go through some difficult times in this transition from childhood to young adulthood, it must have started today. Oh, how my mother heart aches.
Yesterday she chose to "buck me" about so many little things in traveling to and spending the day at the Young family reunion in Bearden. At 7:58 a.m., she said, "I thought we were leaving at 8:00." I told her we were shooting for 8:30, and anything she could do to help get us closer to that goal would be a blessing. As Chad and I scurried about getting ourselves ready and loading the car, she sat. She did finally inquire at 8:25, "Should I eat breakfast then?" We had to keep Coplea and Callie separated over mp3 arguments throughout the trip.
Our choice to go to the cemetery as a family (she plopped right down on Uncle Bobby's sofa to show her intentions - in front of the U.S. Open, no less - Golf!) When told again that she would be going, she spent 10 minutes pretending not to know where her shoes were. Disheartening.
This morning, she tested us by showing up at the (Father's Day) breakfast table with shorts and a t-shirt on. We don't expect the girls to be dressed for Easter every Sunday, but this was clearly going to be a no-go. She sulked when asked to change. We watched outdoor baptisms as a family, where Coplea seemed ready to jump at the opportunity to leave, and opted not to speak to even her art teacher when we ran into her unexpectedly. The two of us headed to FSM, where the Memphis team (from last week's missions trip) gave a report. At lunch, when asked to tell what she remembered about the Memphis trip, she said flatly, "I didn't go to Memphis, how would I know?"
After lunch as we hurriedly prepared for Grandy and Papa to pick the girls up for VBS this week, I told Coplea and Callie, "I'm going to miss you both this week." I reached for hugs, and only Callie responded. Coplea stood stoic. Her heart seems so hard.
Shortly afterwards, I said to Callie that "Sometimes I'm not even sure if Coplea loves me." She simply said, "I know how you feel."
And then there was the fiasco of loading Papa's car, which was overcrowded with things from yesterday's reunion. I can't recount it all without tears, but it amounted to little white lies and intentional deceit which ended with Coplea leaving in tears. I hugged her tight and stated clearly, "I love you." Her arms hung at her side, though she did mutter a similar response. Climbing in the car packed with bags, sisters, and cousins, Coplea kept her head on her arm and against the passenger window, refusing to even look at Papa (driving) or toward her dad and I (waving from the driveway). They are likely 1/3 of the way to Center Ridge by now, and my heart is still crushed.
My prayer:
Lord, help me penetrate the thick walls of pride and get to Coplea's heart. Oh God, please soften it from within. I shake my head at a loss to know how to pursue this child you have given us to raise. So draw her with your cords of kindness, Lord.
Thank you for your Father heart on this day when mine is reeling! Father's Day 2010
posted by MyFairLadies at
1:27 PM
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